Alright, so I’m engaged.

After having my heart ripped out more than a year ago and replaced with… well, something bad… I was fortunate enough to meet my current love. She’s smart, funny, sassy, and really awesome. She was there for me during the healing process and I fell in love with her during it. She was able to turn my frown upside down by listening to me and offering advice and a shoulder to cry on when I needed it. I will be forever in her debt for it.

I proposed to her a couple of months ago now. We took a trip to Tofino which is on Vancouver Island on the West side of the island. We did a lot of driving but we finally managed to spend a couple of nights there. The first night we were just so relieved for a comfortable bed that we just passed out within a couple of minutes of laying down. The next day, we had no plans. We drove to Ucluelet because I wanted to find and eat a Ukie dog… I was unable to find one, but a passable substitute was found. We picked up some steak spice from the local grocery store and then drove back to Tofino. Between Tofino and Ucluelet is Long Beach. We stayed there and just looked around for a while. It was very cold and windy. There were actually people surfing – there was a medium wave warning that day. After finishing there, we got back to the cabin. She decided that she was going to lay down for a bit. I tucked her in and said I was going to read a book for a little while. I went into the living room and proceeded to pass out on the futon. I was out before my head hit the mattress. She’d asked me to wake her up, but she woke me up like 3 and a half hours later. I hadn’t moved. So I struggled and got up. She lit a fire. I started up the barbecue and proceeded to make steaks for us. By this time it was starting to get dark and the night was very clear. We ate, gorging ourselves – for the record, T-Bones rule. We sat down after everything had been cleaned up and watched the fire and talked. It was dark except for the fire crackling away. She had her wine. I had a can of pop. The conversation drifted a little to getting married. I got up and went to the kitchen (it’s all in the same room) and asked her. “So how about it?” “How about what?” “We get married.” “I’m going to make you say it.” “Would you marry me?” “Yeah!” Cue, mushy part. After we finished up, we went and stood on the deck which overlooked the beach. There was just enough light that you could make out the water. The starts were out in full force and we just stood and watched for a while.

Fast forward back to today. Back then it was kind of spur of the moment. I didn’t even have a ring prepared. Now that we’ve got her ring, I’m kind of glad that I waited. She got exactly what she wanted. It’s a very pretty thing with 3 diamonds in it. The Wedding band actually combines with it to form a larger ring. We got that too. She made me have a look for a ring for me too. Surprisingly, I found one that I thought might look ok on my hand. It’s made from Tungsten… which apparently is very hard and does not react well to Chlorine. So I can’t go swimming with it on. That’s not so bad. Sizing a Tungsten ring takes a while because it has to be ordered from the manufacturer. I’m sure mine will be on my hand in a week or two. She’s very happy with what she got. She made me take a picture of it and put it on Facebook so she could show it off to everyone she knows.

I got a congratulations from the ex on the picture on Facebook. It felt weird, so I decided to delete it.

I’m just happy that my fiance is now ecstatic. I hope that I can continue to make her happy. I love her very much.

One of my models brought up how I seem to do a yearly bondage shoot (or two) around this time. Come to think of it, she was right. This is turning into an annual thing. Man was it a lot of fun.

My house played host to 3 models, a couple of boyfriends, a girlfriend, 2 photographers, a very happy rigger, and a dog yesterday. Oh, and Tigger was there too.

We had a young lady that I had never actually met before. RainbowKitty. She did a fantastic job and she seemed to have a great time. We hand cuffed her and made her lick milk out of a saucer. It was very hot.

Kitten_Delicious was there as well. This lady is flexible. And she’s got a thing for Tigger. MBs_Boy was challenged to put her into the most restrictive ties that he could come up with. The man was up to the challenge. The pictures turned out fantastically well. I can’t wait to see what the other photographer LadyJane came up with.

Miss_Mira was there as well. Rubberface herself. She did quite a nice little D/S scene with her man, but he wasn’t really in the photos, other than his pants or the occasional hand. They did awesome!

Everybody did great and I had a blast. Thanks to those that came out and helped.

Hi!

Alright, so I’ve finally figured out how to get back into this bloody blog of mine.  I’m in the process of removing all the spam comments.  Now any comment that is left will require approval.  Sorry – I don’t want this to be a safe haven for spam.

A lot has changed in my life since the last time I posted.  I now have an ex girlfriend in place of the one that was there before.  I’m not going to air what happened here as that wouldn’t be cool.  Needless to say that this year has simultaneously been the worst and the best year of my life.

Why the best?  Shortly after I was dumped (yes, I was the dumpee, not the dumper), I was actually asked to pack up my desk at the job that I was working at.  That right there was probably the best thing that could have happened to me.  I didn’t realize how much working at that cess pool had affected me.  I was grumpy and moody often.  Things that ordinarily should not have bothered me (I’m probably about the most easy going guy you’ve ever met) were causing stress, emotion and general not-goodness.

I spent 2 months looking for work and ended up getting a contract and working as a subcontractor at a government office here in town.  The work has been interesting and rewarding.  I’ve been able to build positive relationships with all of the staff that I’ve been interacting with.  This contract could lead to other contracts too.

As a side note, while I don’t recommend being a contractor, if you’re willing to do the work there is much more opportunity for you than as a regular permanent employee.   The downside is that you’re treated as a second class citizen.  If given the opportunity the employer will use you up too, working you long hours (for which you’re paid for each one).  The lack of any kind of benefits drive me nuts.  Maybe when my next contract comes up I will be able to negotiate a greater wage so I can afford them.

Anyway.

During this whole mess a dear friend of mine was there to help me.  She was kind and patient and supportive of me.  I confided in here.  She has become very important to me.  It’s to the point where my whole state of mind changes when she walks in the room.  She wasn’t really kinky but she’s interested and learning.  I’m only too happy to help her learn.

It’s nice when you find a new story that’s unique.  Altarboy’s got a literal plethora of stories.  I like this one.  TimeLock Chastity Torture.

Ok so I have to admit, I have had a passing interest in sounding.  It’s been one of those things that’s been far too fiddly to set up, but we did actually try it on our own once.  I ordered a Hegar set like this…

Hegar Sounds from Stockroom.com

The last time we tried, we boiled the sounds in a pot of water for about 15 minutes, then wiped them with rubbing alcohol and proceeded to try the smallest sound.  We only did one and that was enough.  I remember really enjoying the sensation.  There was no stretching, no weirdness or anything.  Then about a week later, I had myself a urinary tract infection.  Let me tell you these things aren’t fun.

So we left the thing for like a year… maybe 3.  The kit has been collecting dust on our playroom floor for a while.

I go to work one day and I left a comment on my facebook profile about being happy for not having to drive out to a distant location this weekend for a photography group meeting, meaning that I was happy I was only going to have to drive for like 30 minutes instead of 45-60.  My girlfriend misunderstood and made plans for us during that meeting time.  Apparently I was going to play stunt bottom to her learning how to do sounds from someone who really knows what he’s doing with them.  A good friend of ours who I may have mentioned in a previous post.

In any case, this large and very nasty man proceeded to show my girlfriend the ins and outs (nyuk-nyuk) of dropping, or perhaps a better word would be guiding, large metal rods down my urethra.  The kit he used was a good deal larger than the one we used.  It looked very similar to this…

Ginormous metal cock impalers.

He showed my girlfriend and I how to properly disinfect the sounds in a much better and shorter way than boiling the nastiness away.  Using Sporox as it turns out, which is a 100% solution of Hydrogen Peroxide… which will kill anything organic, including your hand so you don’t mess around with this shit.  You must wear nitrile gloves when handling it because it eats latex within a few seconds of contact.

He told us that this sort of solution is part of an auto-claving process.  I don’t know this for sure, but it seems reasonable to me.  And hey, I’m on day 2 of not feeling like I’m pissing razor blades anymore.  Speaking of which…

So my girlfriend and the guy who I’ll call Steve clean the sounds, they organize the sounds and then tell me to strip.  I get up on the table he’s got prepared and they get ready.  I’m very happy to see/hear that they each change gloves several times due to handling of different surfaces (yay cleanliness!).  He unloads a package of KY jelly (water-based lubes are apparently more likely to be sterile than oil-based lubes – and the fact that it’s in it’s own sealed container means that it’s clean…) on a piece of tinfoil and puts it between my legs.  A towel follows for wiping off the excess.  Now, this is about the point where I quit watching – I’m not particularly interested in watching gi-fucking-honktastic rods sticking out of the end of my dick, you know?

So what happened next was he took one of the larger rods and compared it with the entry of my urethra.  He got a large dollop of KY and started working the rod down my shaft.  Now, you know that feeling that you get when you crunch up Nerds inside your skull?  This is the feeling I had.  Now, the guy says to me, “That’s not really pain.  It’s more of a pressure where you’re not using to feeling it thing.  What you’re experiencing are micro-fractures along the inside of your urethra while it stretches.”  Ok, so my urethra apparently feels like there are small candy rocks along the inside.  I had no sense of depth or anything.  I was more concerned with the amount of discomfort I was in.  He then placed a finger on my taint, just behind my balls and felt for what I presume was the end of the rod.  He found it and then started rocking the rod around and playing with my prostate.

Now, my prostate is one of my very favourite organs.  Prostate massage is definitely something I would enjoy having more of in my life.  (For those that haven’t any idea what I’m talking about, when you hit it, it’s like DING DING DING DING DING!!)  This was a slightly different feel then the other prostate massages I’ve had (well, only ever having done it through the backdoor…)  It wasn’t as intense, but it was definitely pleasurable.

He decided to move down a size.  Things seemed to get easier.  More lube began to make it’s way down the tube.  Lube is good.  We like lube a lot.  He again showed my girlfriend how to guide things and made a repeat performance of the previous time.

The next time, he decided to hand things over to my girlfriend.  Things were starting to get a bit burny for me.  We don’t like burny.  We being me, not Steve.  I was getting a bit tired of the idea of injecting Tabasco down my urethra.  I had removed my PA jewelry because I’m not particularly into that scraping feeling either.  Metal on metal just doesn’t do it for me unless there is Metallica involved.  I apparently had a bit of a reaction to the lube or perhaps the metal in the tube because right at the PA piercing site things were becoming particularly uncomfortable.  I’m not sure how far my girlfriend made it but she pulled back when I started squirming and generally behaving like I was having sandpaper driven into my pee-hole.

We stopped.  They got cleaned up.  I got dressed and then Steve tells me that it’s going to hurt like hell when I pee.  Then he thought it was funny to offer me water.  Granted, this is exactly what I was needing in order to flush out the lube, but still, I was getting a bit tired of it.  So I toddle off to the bathroom, expecting to hurt.  I actually yelled as the few drops I squeezed out went through.  It took about a half hour for my pecker to stop hurting after we were done.  The next time I peed it was still a bit burny but now everything is fine again.

Once we got home I tried to put my PA back in and couldn’t.  The hole had gotten a bit puffy and wouldn’t allow anything that was 4ga through.  I had to go back to a 6ga ring which I was not happy about.

I can’t say that I’ve been put off by the experience, but I have to admit that I’m not particularly keen on doing it again.  At least, not for a while yet.

This is a delightful little robot conversion story.  Gromet’s awesome.

There have been a couple of events put on by the community around Edmonton as of late.  I have been involved in neither, both deliberately and because the events aren’t really my thing.

Event one, which occured last weekend was Primal Pain.  I don’t know a good deal about it, but people who I am friends with through Fetlife (that’s how I spy on them, see?) have been extolling all of the virtues of tribe this or experience that… they’re having difficulty coming down after the fact.  They’re missing their tribe and the sweat lodge and various other things that they experienced over a weekend.

Primal Pain, as I am aware of it, is about experiencing pain.  Flesh hooks are used to do suspensions and do all kinds of neat things.  Neat things that I wouldn’t be caught dead doing myself, because… well, because I’m pretty much a pussy when it comes to getting hurt.

Event two is still happening right now.  My girlfriend is in attendance.  It’s a girls-only camp out where they go and do things like walk through glass, bang drums and do courses on things like flogging (my girlfriend, I am very proud to say, is considered the top of her class in flogging in Edmonton and is presenting), and mummification, among other things.

The drumming and the glass thing, along with it being for girls only is meant to be a spiratual thing for them to experience as a group.  It’s supposed to strengthen them and help them bond.

I spent today watching movies and cleaning.  I played with our dogs a little.  I surfed a little.  My computer is broken, so I’m waiting for a week for it’s replacement.  I’m waiting for one of these…

…which at last check is still at least 30 days away.  I wrote a post on Fetlife on my profile about waiting.  The anticipation is generally more fun then actually getting it.  But that isn’t what this post is about.

I’ve never considered myself to be a spiratual person.  But I’m left with that “what about me?” feeling.  I’m wondering if I’m doing myself a disservice by staying at home and doing nothing.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s been great to stay at home and feel no pressure to do anything – it hasn’t generally happened to me recently.  It’s been a while since I could just do what I wanted to do whenever the hell I wanted to do it.

But what about me?  What have I done that’s good for my soul recently?  I take pride in the fact that the people working under me are happy, and that makes me happy, but I have yet to really have that really satisfied happy feeling at work (I know, I’m probably pushing it there).  I treat my girlfriend as well as I can, taking her out for dinner, buying her lunch, telling her I love her often, being touchy-feely and generally giving her PDA’s whenever I can.  It makes her feel good, and I feel good because she feels good.  But the ol’ soul doesn’t have that, “aahhhh, satisified” feeling, you know?

I want to have a spiratual experience too.  Something that doesn’t require me having to have flesh hooks inserted into my back or require me to be a woman.  I just don’t really know exactly how I’m going to be able to get that feeling.

As you no doubt have noticed, this blog has lately not been a priority for me.

An update for you:

1. I got to participate in a very awesome photoshoot with all kinds of awesome people.
2. I’ve fallen in love with Gromet’s Plaza.
3. I’ve ordered a device from from Lori (a 12E to be exact – dunno about posting pictures while wearing it).
4. I’ve managed to get my PA up to 4ga, which makes me happy.
5. My nipples are at 10ga and I would like to go larger.
6. Work is good.  I’m busy, my team is productive and I’m reasonably happy.
7. Most importantly, my girlfriend is back to feeling like her old self again, which really makes me happy.

What a wonderful person.  Check out Twenty Days by Lady Katherine from Gromet’s site.

So I have an extensive and varied collection of music on my iPod.  To say that there is a lot of stuff on there would be a bit of an understatement.  I have a problem, you see.

Anyway, one day, Steve Winwood comes on.   I played some of his stuff in highschool as part of the R&B band.  Roll With It was a particular favourite.  It got my juices flowing a little.  I started thinking about playing my bass again.  Oh yeah, I play bass. 

This is nearly a copy of the exact bass I own.

In any case, I started listening to some more Steve Winwood.  Eventually Higher Love (why does everybody in this video look like Michael Bolton?) comes on.  It just so happens that I’m putting away a metric ton of laundry so I’m zoned out.  No normally, I don’t dance.  I belonged to a band who was named a particular name (won’t name it here due to privacy concerns) due to the fact that I don’t dance.  But I started dancin’ and singin’.  Pretty soon I got sick of singing the lyrics because I didn’t know them anyway.  I started to sing the bass line… or at least the one I wanted to play.  Hot damn was that funky.

So a few days later… I’ve been thinking about it a lot.  I’ve got bass on the brain and figure I really should do something about it.  Nahh… I don’t feel like it.  So I’m playing away on Facebook, because that’s what one does on Facebook.  None other than KinkyDJ pipes up and asks me to play bass.  Now, my girlfriend has been saying that I should get my bass out for a while now.  It’s not that I’m not listening to her… I think that this is more of a situation where I needed an extra little push.

I’m out of practice and I really don’t have the callouses I once rocked in high school so many years ago.  But it felt good.  I played along with Higher Love for a while, learning the (complex) chord progression.  I’m still sloppy, but it’s just me and the computer here.  Things started slowly tightening up.  My timing improved… my technique improved… I felt like a spunge, sucking back all the knowledge and experience I once had.  If I keep this up, I may get back to adequate again and would probably feel comfortable playing my bass in front of a person or two again. 

In the mean time, I have to think of some bad things to do to ChefKink.  She’s coming over on Monday evening for some beats.    Girlfriend who loves me, bass that’s being remembered, drainage system that is back to 100%, shower that no longer looks like it has leprosy.  Life is pretty good at the moment thank you very much.